Secrets of Goodbye Charlie Revealed!

-AP
In a shocking development, inside sources of
Alcritas Inc. have released secret details of 
the upcoming scenario, 'Goodbye Charlie'.

Some of the details revealed:

The scenario will either be called "Star Wars Episode I,
The Phantom Menance" or "Terror Doom Demon Island Mission
Quest Dragon". Alcritas is currently torn between the two.

The scenario will feature a complete graphics overall, using
only graphics found either in "Wizardry" or "Ultima IV".

The scenario is designed to correct Alcritas' greatest 
disappointment, "Kalloskagathos". To that end, the scenario
will actually feature sixteen different version. Fifteen thus
far have been completed:

1. Sage is actually the president of Save All Gremlins
Everywhere. Sovereign is Regis Philbin. The party must
destroy them both.

2. The UNL is actually revealed to stand for "The United
Nations, Light". Survivalist groups everywhere will have
fund fighting the legions of black helmet troops and their
helicoptors.

3. Sovereign and Sage are revealed to both be the Morgle
Fred. Fred explains that he was just upset he wasn't being
fed enough garbage, and wanted to stir things up a bit.

4. Sovereign and Sage kill each other in the starting town,
Warrior's Grove. The remainder of the scenario consists of
nothing else but fighting legions and legions of Stridors for
no apparent reason in this version.

5. The entire scenario is written over "Valley of the Dying Things".
This version features nothing but constant fighting. Nevertheless,
Alcritas is confident that people will find this to be an "Exiting 
scenario, filled with challenging combat", and will place very highly
on Spiderweb's Solid Adventure table.

6. In this version, Sovereign is revealed to be Tharma, and the party joins 
forces with her. The party must kill each and every individual who refuses
to "Smile for the Half Elf".

7. In this version, Sovereign is actually 'Blackthorne', from Ultima V. 
He's pissed that another scenario gave credit to Lord British for 
creating the Exile world, and is kicking ass because of it.

8. In this versionThe Sage is revealed to be The Master, 
from the Spheres trilogy.
He's worried that the Sovereign might be conspiring with the D'Kar
in some sort of fiendish plot. The party will eventually discover he's
wrong, and, in the biggest letdown of the season, the Sage will
simply depart, saying "Oops, my mistake".

9. Inspired by the Avernum series, this version is a remake
of 'On A Ship To Algiers', but with better graphics. 

10. Although the desginer has never played "Of Good And Evil",
this version is magically a near-perfect reproduction of that scenario. 
This version will be called 'Spear and Slab', or something like that.

11. This version is a ported in copy of 'Nature of Evil'. Since
Measle has decided to never release this excellent work, Alcritas
figured he might as well.

12. This version consists entirely of Alcritas yelling "THAT WAS
THE BLOODY POINT" over and over again at those individuals
who remarked that "An Apology" lacked significant scenario
altering choices by the party.

13. In this version, Sovereign is revealed to be a speech writer,
who's concerned that the President, SAGE, might decline to
run for re-election because SAGE didn't diagnose he had
contracted a rare illness during his first run for presidency.
The entire scenario is thrown for a loop when Xenophon,
who everyone thought was dead, comes back to life,
only to be struck by a car off camera for no apparent reason.

14. In this version, multiple members of the BOE community
are present. Many of them contemplate forming a 'BOE Megasite',
or something of that sort. But no matter how long the party
waits, they never put up the website.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: This is a bit dated.  "Goodbye Charlie"
was the would-be name of "Falling Stars" before
it was released.]